Life Stages: Dating and Courtship
Dating Customs
Most young Thais start dating in their teens. In modern Thailand, there is no distinction between dating and courtship, and dating often leads to marriage.
Young people usually meet at school, at work, or through friends and relatives. Popular dating venues in urban areas are shopping malls, coffee shops, school events, nightclubs, and discotheques. In rural Thailand, the wats or Buddhist temples provide opportunities for young people to meet and socialize at temple fairs or fundraising ceremonies.
Very young Thais may share dating expenses. With older couples, it is likely that the man will pay. There is no prescribed dating period. A couple may date for a few months or a few years before they decide to marry.
Men and women have equal say in choosing their spouse. Thai women usually have more autonomy than the Chinese-Thai women living in Thailand. In traditional families, parents may still exert a lot of influence on decisions relating to the marriage of their children. Elopements are common and are usually a sign of parental objection.
Thai women usually choose men who are authoritative, courageous, confident, and strong. Men look for women who are graceful, pretty, and unaffected. Most Thais are Buddhists and choose to date people of the same religion.
When a couple decides to marry, sometimes elders in the prospective groom’s family approach the bride’s parents to ask for her hand in marriage. Among wealthy or prominent families, it is more common for parents to take an active interest in their children’s dating partners and to encourage them to date and marry someone with similar social standing.
Intimacy
Although Buddhism deprecates sexuality and preaches abstinence as one of the important means of attaining nirvana, celibacy is confined to monastic life and does not influence most Thais. Premarital sex has become common, and on average both boys and girls have their first sexual experience early.
Teens do not usually practice birth control, and many use abortion and the morning-after pill as birth control methods. Even though premarital sex is increasingly common, public displays of affection are considered inappropriate and are almost unknown. Thai youngsters who are sexually active normally do not let their parents know.
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